it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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