Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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