two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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