mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
