I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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