omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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