I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she smelled like a LAN party
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
