We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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