Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
