In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
