Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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