Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
