Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
