dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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