question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
