idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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