we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
