I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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