My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
