She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
