I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
