We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
