Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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