It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize