Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
wow bdsm is so cute
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
