wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
