apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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