just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
