I must be too annoying 4 u.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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