All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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