As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
