Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
