saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
