Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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