A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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