im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
