I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
