You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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