I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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