I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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