Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
