i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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