So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
