Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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