the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
