i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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