why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
