If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
