dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
