Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize