Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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