We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I touched a dick in church today
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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