Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
