Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
