is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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