i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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