3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
