I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
