It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
