You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
