Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
