well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize